Ok kids, Rugby World Cup. It's starting.
Apart from the misplaced advertising campaigns trying to evoke patriotism, forever annoying television personalities preaching the All Black religion and the mucking about of school terms for Auckland traffic, I'm excited.
I hope all the Global Citizens, who are too cultured to care, enjoy their chocolate biscuits and Shakespeare tonight. I don't have to follow, or (and let's be honest) understand, rugby to be excited. Hairy men wrestling for a giant egg is undeniably part of New Zealand culture. Imma celebrate the positive parts of that culture.
Tickets have been purchased for an obscure pool match between Romania and Argentina. After expressing indecision about who to support I was informed that Romania was "way shittier" and that they deserve my painted face screaming for them. Sorry Romania.
I have made a calculated decision not comment on whether New Zealand will actually win. Only time will unravel that infinite mystery (and when it does we can be assured of many an obnoxious analysis). Since I have friends on a rather successful female rugby (insert feminist metaphor here) team, I am qualified to make predictions. Ireland, Samoa and Tonga are going to be in the semi finals. I base this on the fact that a dude from the Irish team herded ducks into a management meeting, I feel his talents are wasted on the field, and the passion from the Islands.
I would end with a witty rugby related pun. Regrettably I can't think of any.
Have fun New Zealand. Don't get too angry.